Are Young, Childless Couples Really Happier?

There have been a slew of surveys recently that have concluded that the happiest couples of all are young, married and childless.


That's something to think about, especially in today's high-divorce society.  


According the the studies, happiness increased once the kids were old enough to be more self sufficient, and even greater when they moved out.


Many couples, though -- especially if they end up divorced for other reasons -- find that their grown children actively work to prevent them from remarrying.


You'd think that, as adults, everyone involved would be free to make their own decisions, but apparently not.  I knew a mature business woman who had divorced, and her son, in his early twenties, was determined to keep her from moving on. In fact he would raise such a fuss that she had to date behind her son's back, and we in the office had to cover for her.


Does this sound like the roles of parent and child got reversed?  What caused that?  Why do so many older adults find themselves actively controlled and manipulated by their own children?


I remember reading a book long ago about protecting your relationship from such outside forces, and to this day I still agree with the advice: Love your partner but protect the marriage and treat IT with as much love, respect and care as you do your mate.


The logic is that you can love your spouse tremendously, but if you let life's stresses and conflicts (even your own children) eat away at the foundation of your marriage, then all the love in the world may not be able to save it.


That's a different concept for many; seeing the marriage itself as its own entity, its own life in need of nurturing and protecting. To me it makes perfect sense.


What about you? Have your children interfered with your ability to remarry?  Did having children (be honest) diminish the happiness and contentment you felt in your marriage?


Drop me a note and let me know what you think.


Best,


Cathy
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